I Asked My Friend How Much Money She Makes and Here’s What Happened...
This post is a sponsored post.
More than religion or politics, MONEY is the taboo subject that most people tend to avoid. In an effort to disprove this theory, I asked one of my friends how much money she makes. I was shocked at the response. First, an awkward pause, followed by an awkward laugh and then silence. I asked her if she knew why this question was hard for her to answer and she admitted that she didn’t. She confirmed that she trusts me and that she wasn’t worried that if I knew how much she made, that I would follow up with a request to borrow money. She said she honestly didn’t know what her hesitation was but proceeded to not answer the question. This is a friend whom I’ve known for almost 20 years. We’ve shared various health issues, heartbreaks, losses, victories, and milestones - all of which I would argue to be far more intimate than income - yet here we are standing in the gap of silence.
In my last romantic relationship, money was a touchy subject. It was a conversation that my partner was not only uncomfortable about having but one that he admitted he had not had in any prior relationships – although he had lived with his previous partner for 8 years. His discomfort with the topic led to his dishonesty about how much money he had saved and his spending habits. His shame surrounding his financial fitness, or lack thereof, prohibited him from asking for or accepting help with money management.
Why are we so afraid to talk about money? I’ve come to the conclusion that it’s all about insecurities. We fear the judgment of our income as an extension of our identity, our financial decisions and our lack of accurate information. Regardless of how much money we have or don’t have, there is a certain fear of how others will perceive us - based not solely on how much money we make, but also on how much we save or don’t save, how much we spend and the ways in which we choose to spend our money. Being able to comfortably have the “money talk” all starts with our own relationship with money.
Living in a society in which most people (80% of Americans and 81% of women) are living from paycheck to paycheck, how do we expect to change that when there is so much shame, stigma, and taboo around talking about money? Living in a world where there are so many disparities among gender + race pay wages, how can we ever reach pay equity if we are unwilling to talk about our income? How can we gain access to resources if we are unwilling to admit we need help? How can we build successful businesses, careers, and lives while ignoring the elephant in the room? I’m so glad that this feared conversation was a panel topic at #BlogHer19 Business! On Saturday, November 9, a couple hundred women influencers and entrepreneurs gathered at The Riveter co-working space in West LA to discuss building our brands and businesses with other boss ladies who have charted their own path. Part of creating a life you love includes earning and managing money – so what better time, place and space to start the conversation? Moderated by Justine Goodman of She Media, the panel featured financial powerhouses like Nicole Lapin (Author of Rich Bitch), Sherita Rankins (BusyWifeBusyLife.com), and Dee McLaughlin of Capital Group.
In this conversation, I learned that married women rarely keep the same financial advisor after a divorce. Any guess why? The reason is that usually during their marriage all of the financial planning conversations had been had with the husband. I learned that most married women are less involved in the financial decisions of the household. In 2019, I found this to be particularly surprising.
Many women after the age of 40 suffer significant financial setbacks due to life events like divorce, health issues, sending kids to college, or starting a business. These setbacks are due to poor financial planning. Do you and your friends know what compound investing is? Do you and your partner equally share an understanding of cash flow and how to plan for ebbs in income as entrepreneurs? Do you pay yourself a salary in your business? These are the questions that were discussed in this panel, and more of us need to be having this conversation with the people that we love and, in some cases, cohabitate with. Knowledge truly is power.
For more than 87 years, Capital Group, home of American Funds has focused on its mission to improve people’s lives through successful investing. Capital Group’s long-term investing approach helps people prepare for their most important life goals from buying a house or putting a child through college to saving for a secure retirement. Through its American Funds brand, Capital Group offers a large variety of equity and fixed income mutual funds, target-date funds, and 529 college saving funds. The company is recognized in the industry for its low fees and superior results for long-term investors.
Setting yourself and your family on a path towards a more secure financial future starts by confronting money issues with the people you love - speak to your significant other, family, friends and children about finances. Seek advice from financial advisors who can help you invest wisely for the long term. Having the capacity to achieve great things is inside all of us. We just need to be empowered with knowledge and resources to unlock it. To learn more about Capital Group and its mutual funds visit www.capitalgroup.com.
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