Can You Really Have "It All"?

When my friend told me that she would be watching "She's Gotta Have It" on the eve of Thanksgiving, i thought she was feeling nostalgic and wanted to break out the Spike Lee classic for old times sake. That was until she informed me that Netflix has just released a modern take of the film in the form of a Netflix original series!



Come thru with the original programming Netflix! 🙌🏽

Last night, I checked out episodes 1-3 and so far so good. I am happy to see my melanated folks working and I love the rise in original programming for us!

As for the characters, so far ya manz Mars is my favorite. I like someone you can be goofy and have fun with and he and Nola seem to have the most authentic relationship of her three boos in rotation and even a friendship. I don’t know why the Greer dude is even in the rotation.🙄 the Jamie guy needs to keep his nerve-to-be married feelings in check😒 and that black dress was certainly not worth $500 dollars, but she is certainly getting her wear’s worth out of it 😅🤣 Yasss Nola!

Now what's most interesting to me is the accuracy of her "dating" pool. Once upon a time a friend gifted me with a refrigerator magnet that read "Find a man who loves you, find a man who can cook, find a man who can clean, and find a man who is rich. Never let them find out about each other." It went something like that lol

Nonetheless, the message was that all qualities simply were not expected to be found in one man. Some men may share that all of the traits they desire in a partner cannot be found in one woman. For the most part, I would agree that has been one of the recurring issues in my dating experiences. Often times I'm advised that I need to consider which qualities are "most" important and what I'm willing to sacrifice. Some cultures do not even expect things like friendship in their romantic relationships. Coincidentally, Mars, with whom Nola seems to have the most organic relationship and friendship with, had the least to offer on paper. That part! The other two guys in her rotation seem to be far more established professionally and financially, but they both have personal issues that prevent them from bringing much to the table other than their on-paper accomplishments. Their character is very clearly flawed with things like narcissism, infidelity and insecurity.

In my experience, the people that I meet who have attained greater appearances of success, are the most internally conflicted. Have you noticed this? Why is that? Any ideas? My guess is that to obtain most success, you have to be more internally focused and sometimes that entails a level of self-absorption. You can't be as available to, nor concerned with pleasing other people because your own personal goals come first. This often yields positive results in career, yet poor results in interpersonal relationships. I read an interview with Elon Musk in Success Magazine (my fav) that specifically correlated how the qualities necessary for success in business are almost always in direct opposition with qualities necessary for success in personal relationships. The article made some really valid points, so you should read it when you get a chance.



With that being said, do you agree? Have you found that success in your career has made it harder for you to find success in love? Or vice versa? Do you find it hard to find the perfect combo in a partner? What do you suspect is the reason for your experiences? Or have you just not found "the one" yet? Oh-and how are you enjoying the show so far?

Loni SwainComment